recent movies – multiverses everywhere!

It was a busy summer, but at the end of the day (or three hours or so after most people would define “the end of the day”) I did have some time to watch movies, both some new ones and older films that turned up on streaming.

Sahara (released 2005)

This wasn’t a very good movie. A marine treasure hunter gets caught up in a quest to find the Confederacy’s lost gold reserves, and this somehow also involves a corrupt African dictator secretly burying toxic waste on his land. The movie felt like one of those overstuffed 900 pages thriller novels from the 80s and 90s, which makes sense, because it was based off a Clive Cussler novel.

What’s more interesting than the movie is the lawsuit – apparently Cussler hated the movie so much that he sued the producers, the producers sued back, and they spent TEN YEARS suing each other back and forth. In the end, the lawsuits sort of petered without both sides claiming victory and no one getting any money except the lawyers. SAHARA basically stands as a good reminder to writers to be careful to whom you sell the film rights to your books. I felt bad for the actors because it was clear they were all trying really hard, but the material wasn’t rewarding their efforts.

Overall grade: D- (saved from F due to the work of the actors)

The Gray Man (released 2022)

I enjoyed THE GRAY MAN, but it was basically one long action sequence. Granted, it was a superbly done action sequence, but overall I think the movie could have done with fewer set pieces and more character-based scenes. THE GRAY MAN reminded me a lot of JOHN WICK, if John Wick was an assassin for the CIA instead of working for an international crime organization with weird rules. The plot is that a man called Six is an assassin for the CIA, and discovers that his new boss is corrupt. Six goes on the run, which leads to shoot outs in many different locations, while also setting things up for the sequel.

Basically, if you liked the JOHN WICK movies, you’ll like THE GRAY MAN, and if you hated the JOHN WICK movies, you won’t like GRAY MAN.

Overall grade: C+

Everything Everywhere All At Once (released 2022)

This is literally the weirdest thing I have ever voluntarily seen. How weird is it? On his podcast, Brandon Sanderson said it was the weirdest non-animated thing he’s ever seen, and we all know that if you watch anime, you’ve seen a lot of weird animated stuff.

I don’t think I actually liked this movie, but I respect how ambitious it was and the immense filmmaking skill it must have taken to put it all together.

The plot: Evelyn is a middle-aged woman running a laundromat who has almost alienated her daughter and pushed her husband away to the point where he feels he has no choice but to divorce her. Except it turns out that the multiverse is real, and that in a parallel universe, Evelyn’s daughter has become a being of godlike power who, disgusted by the futile nature of reality, created a black hole in the shape of a bagel that will destroy all universes.

Yes. A bagel.

Evelyn gains the power to draw on the abilities and memories of her parallel selves, and what follows is an incredibly bizarre mixture of surrealism, black comedy, kung fu action, an attempt at family reconciliation, and a tax audit. Like, I’ve described the movie, but I don’t think the description does it justice. It’s one of those things where you have to see it and make up your mind for yourself.

I have to admit I don’t like the multiverse as a storytelling concept because it negates the consequences of choice (for every choice you made, a parallel universe character made a different one), but this probably handled the multiverse concept as well as anything could.

Overall grade: A, B, C, D, F and every possible grade in every possible universe.

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (released 2022)

In this movie, Doctor Strange encounters America Chavez, who has the ability to jump from universe to universe in the multiverse. (More multiverse stuff, alas!) A dark and sinister power is pursuing America, and Doctor Strange has to wrestle with his own inner demons as he tries to find a way to save her.

Overall, I though it was good. I know some people were annoyed with the direction that Wanda’s character took, but I thought it made sense. She had just been pushed too far for too long and finally snapped in a bad way. Sadly, this is all too common in Real Life, and turns up on the news all too often. Except Wanda has a superpowered book of dark magic, so when she Breaks Bad, she really Breaks Bad.

I have to admit that I saw this before EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, and I liked DOCTOR STRANGE better after seeing EVERYTHING because this movie made more sense. Though the critics generally liked EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE better than DOCTOR STRANGE, but the critics don’t know everything.

Overall grade: B+

Thor: Love & Thunder (released 2022)

THOR: LOVE & THUNDER is basically an attempt to address grief in a superhero movie via the random black comedy of director Taika Waititi’s style. Granted, this concept sounds like a heavy lift when I type it all out, so I can see why the movie wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But I thought it was pretty funny – Russell Crowe playing a debauched over-the-hill petulant Zeus was funny (and to be fair, that’s not far off from how Zeus was in Greek mythology) – and Christian Bale’s Gor the God Butcher was a compelling villain. The Marvel movies and shows have been getting weirder and weirder over the last few years with all the multiverse stuff, and are often inaccessible to people who haven’t seen the previous twenty movies or whatever, but THOR: LOVE & THUNDER was funny enough that it might not matter.

Overcall grade: B

RRR (released 2022)

The “RRR” apparently stands for “Rise, Revolt, Roar.”

First, one point. People are mistakenly calling it a Bollywood movie – it’s not, since it was filmed using the Telugu language, and Bollywood traditionally uses the Hindi language. So it’s technically a “Tollywood” movie, even though I think the version I watched on Netflix is actually the version that was dubbed in Hindi.

The difference is significant, but honestly I couldn’t explain that significance if I tried. India has cultural, linguistic, and ethnic divisions that are immediately obvious and comprehensible to people who live there but require years of study for outsiders to begin to understand.

That said, it does have a lot of the traditional elements of Bollywood movies – singing, over the top action sequences, and dancing, including a literal dance-off battle at about a third of the way through the movie. It’s like the director and the producers watched the last couple of FAST & FURIOUS movies (including the one where a rocket shoots a car into space), and said to each other “Guys, you know what? This is good, but way too subtle. Let’s show these Americans how it is done!”

Like, one of the characters uses a motorcycle as a melee weapon at one point, and before that, attacks the evil Governor’s house with an army of jungle animals. It’s that kind of movie.

Anyway, the movie is set in 1920s India. The evil Governor kicks off the plot when he kidnaps a village girl because his wife liked her singing. Bheem, the village’s protector, goes to get her back, and during the process befriends Raju, who works for the government police and has been ordered to apprehend Bheem. The two men become friends when they rescue a child from a train wreck through sheer awesomeness, little realizing that they are on opposite sides. Except Raju is secretly infiltrating the government in order to steal weapons for the people rise up, Both Bheem and Raju are the kind of guys who can fight entire armies with their fists and stern looks (or the occasional motorcycle used as a cudgel), and so they’re on a collision course with each other and the oppressive government.

Basically, RRR manages to take the visual language of an American action movie, combine it with Tollywood film techniques, and through some mysterious alchemy it somehow manages to become something a global audience can appreciate.

Overall grade: A (with bonus points for sheer audacity)

Lightyear (released 2022)

I heard bad things about this movie, but I watched it and it was a pretty solid science fiction adventure. I’m not sure why it flopped. Maybe it had too much high-concept sci-fi (time dilation and a generational colony) for a kids’ movie? Maybe the concept was too much of a stretch – a movie about the fictional character that inspired the toys in TOY STORY? (They say if you have to explain the joke, it isn’t funny, and maybe that’s true of story ideas as well.) Or it had to compete against TOP GUN MAVERICK? Or maybe it just had the very bad fortune to come out at exactly the right time to be used as a football between competing political factions?

Sometimes, fate just doesn’t like a movie. I heard a joke that God must be a Marvel fan, because He keeps sending misfortune upon the DC movies. I very much doubt that this is actually the case, but sometimes fortune definitely doesn’t favor a particular movie.

Anyway, I suppose this is a good reminder not to rely upon others’ opinions but to make up one’s mind.

Overall grade: B

Men in Black (released 1997)

I saw this originally in the theater back in 1997, and when it popped up on Netflix, I gave it another try. It holds up really well. It is a tightly-scripted science fiction adventure with excellent worldbuilding, and the cinematic skill to reveal that worldbuilding deftly and without clunky exposition. In fact, there is not a single wasted second in that movie, since it’s only an hour and a half long. It would be at least two hours if made today. Though I suspect 2022 Will Smith wishes he could go back in time and warn 1997 Will Smith about a few things.

Overall grade: A

Men in Black II (released 2002)

Everything I said about the original movie applies, except the sequel isn’t quite as tight and sharp as the original.

Overall grade: B

Ghost Rider (released 2007)

I watched this, and I have to admit it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Johnny Blaze, played by Nicolas Cage, sells his soul to the devil to save his father from cancer. Except the devil kills Blaze’s dad anyway (because he’s, you know, the devil) and then Blaze turns into an invincible motorcycle rider with a burning skull for a head to act as hell’s bounty hunter. There’s some additional plot that also doesn’t make very much sense. However, the movie is worth watching if only to see Nicolas Cage do an excellent job of chewing the scenery for the entire runtime.

Overall grade: C-

Obi-Wan Kenobi (released 2022)

Like multiverses, I generally don’t like prequels because of the lack of dramatic tension. It’s not a spoiler to say that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader live to the end of OBI-WAN because everyone knows they both turn up again in the first STAR WARS movie. That said, a prequel can provide new insights into the characters.

I have to admit I wasn’t sure about this for the first few episodes – I thought it might be another sort of sad sack deconstruction of Star Wars like THE LAST JEDI. But it really nailed the landing! Especially the final scenes between Vader and Obi-Wan, and the final scenes between the Third Sister and Obi-Wan. I think the weakness of a series like OBI-WAN compared to something like THE MANDALORIAN is that most of the episodes of MANDOLORIAN were essentially stand-alone stories, while each episode of OBI-WAN is more like a component of a whole. (BOOK OF BOBA FETT, which I also liked, had something of the same weakness.) Anyway, I think OBI-WAN makes for a worthy Episode 3.5 of the STAR WARS saga.

Overall grade: B+ (with bonus points for Vader’s final howl of OBI-WAAAAAAANNN!!!)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (released 2022)

Both SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2 achieved something very difficult – video game movies that are actually good. They do this by recognizing the inherent humor of the concept – blue space hedgehog battles robot-obsessed mad scientist – and runs with it. Jim Carrey as the scenery-chewing Dr. Robotnik is pretty funny, and both Sonic the Hedgehog movies follow the rules of basic story structure. They’re excellent light entertainment, and the sort of movie you can take a small child to – which is definitely not true of EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE and DOCTOR STRANGE!

Overall grade: B+

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (released 2022)

This movie was absolutely hilarious. Nicolas Cage plays a lightly fictionalized version of himself – Nic Cage – who is having a career meltdown. When a wealthy businessman and film fanatic offers Cage a million dollars to attend his birthday party, Cage thinks it’s beneath his professional dignity, but he really needs the money. To his surprise, he finds himself striking up a friendship with the businessman. Except the businessman is actually an illegal arms dealer, and the CIA wants to use Cage to surveil him, which mean that the movie gradually turns into a 1990s-style Nicolas Cage action movie. Since I’ve seen most of the 1990s Nicolas Cage action movies, it was really funny.

Overall grade: A

Holey Moley Season 4 (released 2022)

Extreme mini golf! We can talk all we want about art, and culture, and the meaning of all these things, but sometimes what you really want is to see is mini golfers knocked into a pool by a giant windmill, and this show DELIVERS!

Overall grade: A+

-JM