2024 Summer Movie Roundup, Part I

It’s time for my movie roundup post for the first half of summer 2024! Summer always has a lot of movies, so I usually split the summer roundup post into halves.

I was surprised at the number of sports movies I watched this time, since as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t really follow professional sports. That said, while the NFL and the NBA might not have quite the cultural hegemony they had at their peak in the 1990s and early 2000s, they’re still hugely central to American culture, and I don’t think you can really understand the United States without grasping the central role of professional sports in mainstream culture. (I expect there’s a similar phenomenon with association football clubs in the UK and many European countries.) Besides, one of the abilities of good storytelling is to make you interested in a story about a topic you might not otherwise care about, like athletic shoes.

So, here are the movies and shows I watched in the first half of summer 2024, ranked from worst to best. As always, the rankings are totally subjective and based on nothing but my own opinions and observations.

MADAME WEB (2024)

Oof. This wasn’t quite the Crime Against Cinema that the Internet thought it was, but it was still wasn’t great. Sony has rights to a bunch of Spider-Man adjacent characters, and the company is holding those in a death grip and has been trying to make a Spider-Man Cinematic Universe happen for some time, with mixed results. The Tom Hardy VENOM movies have been pretty good – the others, not so much.

The plot of MADAME WEB: cynical and jaded EMT Cassandra Webb works with her partner Ben Parker (later the Uncle Ben of Spider-Man fame) and is almost drowned in an accident. While drowned, Cassandra starts developing precognition and clairvoyant powers. She starts seeing visions of three young women who will be murdered by a powerful real estate developer named Ezekiel. Turns out that Ezekiel has Spider-Man powers that also include precognition, and he wants to kill the girls before they someday kill him.

The scenes where Cassandra wonders if she is going mad but gradually starts to realize she can see the future were quite good.

That said, this could be an interesting concept, but it didn’t really work.

For one thing, the dialogue was just clunky. Dialogue is a hard, hard art to master in both movies and writing, but MADAME WEB didn’t get there. Many of the dialogue scenes were just wooden. Additionally, the movie felt padded and drawn out, which is interesting because the runtime was under two hours. Ultimately, I think MADAME WEB succumbed to the illness of a shared cinematic universe. It felt like the incomplete prologue to a more interesting movie, and not every side character in the SPIDER-MAN mythos needs an origin story. The trick to making a shared cinematic universe is that each movie must stand alone on its own, especially in the beginning, and the stories have to be interesting. MADAME WEB, alas, couldn’t quite manage either.

Overall grade: D-

THE ACOLYTE (2024)

There was quite a furor about this show on social media, but you can’t believe social media. To be blunt about it, I’ve come to believe that social media is designed to induce mental illness in its users in order to increase their time spent on the site, which in turn increases ad revenue. Very cynical and very simple, but that’s the basic business model of Facebook and YouTube, which is why you see so much rage-filled clickbait on both sites, since that’s what drives engagement and increases ad revenue.

But! That’s a problem beyond the scope of a movie review post.

I would say that ACOLYTE wasn’t the Crime Against Cinema that YouTube thought it was, but instead an uneven mixture of some strong points and some weaknesses.

The plot:

Former Jedi Osha has left the Order and is working as a mechanic on a Trade Federation starship. Meanwhile, a woman who looks exactly like her has started murdering Jedi Masters. Osha is arrested for the murders, but her former teacher, Jedi Master Sol, quickly figures out that the murderer is in fact Osha’s twin sister Mae, who has been presumed dead for the last sixteen years. Osha reluctantly tags along with Sol to help track down Mae, which means she needs to delve into the dark secrets of her past, and discover who trained Mae to be a Jedi-killing assassin. The Jedi assume a renegade member of the Order must have trained Mae, because the Sith have been extinct for a long, long time. Or have they?

This show had its strong points. The lightsaber fights looked good and were fun to watch. Lee Jung-jae as Sol, Manny Jacinto as Qimir, Charlie Bennett as Yord, and Dafne Keen as Jecki, all gave good performances. In particular, they stole episode 5, which was overall the strongest episode of the series. The design of the Sith Lord’s helmet (dubbed “Darth Teeth” or “Smilo Ren” by the Internet) was good. The nods to the old Expanded Universe, like cortosis ore, were nice. There was enough of a compelling mystery – who is the Sith Lord, and what actually happened in the twins’ past – that can hook the viewer through to the end of the series. The show also did a good job of showing how complacent and political the Jedi had become, to the point where a hundred years later the Jedi High Council would meet with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine every day for thirteen years and completely fail to realize that he was in fact the Sith Master who had been pulling all the strings of the Clone Wars.

That said, the show did have some significant problems.

1.) The whole Good Twin, Evil Twin thing was kind of lame. Playing identical twins is hard for any actor, and I sometimes had a hard time keeping track of whether Osha or Mae was in a particular scene. I kind of wish they had been brother and sister (or at least not identical twins) so they had been easier to tell apart.

2.) As much as I appreciated the nods to the Expanded Universe, I think it relied too heavily on them and assumed the audience had a high level of STAR WARS knowledge. Like, the weird Force cult where Osha and Mae grew up. In the Expanded Universe, there are all kinds of weird half-baked cults with an incomplete knowledge of the Force that run into serious problems when they encounter an actual Jedi or an actual Sith. One advantage of visual media over novels is that it’s much easier to show instead of tell, but I don’t think ACOLYTE explained its premises well. Like, THE MANDALORIAN explained its premises better, gradually exposing the viewer to the Mandalorian’s culture as he dealt with the Monster Of The Week, and Mando gradually learned about the Force and the Jedi (“a race of enemy sorcerers”) as he tried to save The Child from the Imperial Remnant. By contrast, the ACOLYTE kind of dropped viewers into the middle of things, didn’t bother to explain any ambiguities, and simply assumed they would understand all the references.

3.) The problem with the Jedi Order is that its philosophy is essentially stupid. The reason for that is that Jedi philosophy is essentially a highly watered-down version of 1970s-style Hollywood Buddhism, which is itself a tremendously watered-down version of actual Buddhism. So the Jedi are basically left with “don’t feel anger or fear” and “don’t get attached to people” but lack the religious and philosophical underpinnings which would allow those concepts to make sense. And in Real Life, eventually we all must learn that both suppressing our anger and fear or allowing it to dominate us is unhealthy. Fear warns us of danger, and anger is a good response when one is forced to fight. Anger and fear make for good servants but awful masters, but Jedi philosophy completely misses that point.

4.) The show was the wrong genre for the kind of moral relativism it had. Like, moral relativism worked well in ANDOR, which was a spy thriller. By contrast, THE ACOYLTE was about kung-fu space wizards using space magic that literally comes in good and evil varieties, and moral relativism works less well in that kind of setting.

So, the ACOLYTE was a mixed bag. I admit if there’s a second season I’ll watch it just because I want to see what happens next, but given Disney’s significant financial woes that seems unlikely.

Overall grade: C-

UNFROSTED (2024)

An absurdist comedic retelling of the creation of the Pop-Tart, told as sort of a parody of corporate biopics like FORD V FERRARI and AIR (see more below on those movies). This movie was silly and kind of dumb, but it knew it was silly and kind of dumb and leaned into it, and so therefore worked.

Jerry Seinfeld plays Bob Cabana, a high-ranking employee of the Kellogg Cereal Company, which is locked in bitter rivalry with the Post cereal company for the breakfast market. One day Cabana uncovers evidence that Post is working on something that will upend the breakfast market – a fruit-filled breakfast pastry that can be toasted! Alarmed with this information, the CEO of Kellogg, Edsel Kellogg III (played by Jim Gaffigan as a parody of 60s-eras US business executives), launches a crash effort to match Post’s effort. Cabana must recruit a heist-style team to build Kellogg’s breakfast pastry (including numerous obscure figures from 1960s pop culture), and the race is on to build the Pop-Tart.

An entertaining movie, but it has no connection to factual accuracy.

Also, Bill Burr was hilarious as President Kennedy.

Overall grade: B-

THE HIT MAN (2023)

An amusing cross between a dark comedy and a sort of Hitchcockian thriller.

Glen Powell plays Gary Johnson, a mild-mannered and somewhat ineffective philosophy professor. Due to his skill with electronics and microphones, he frequently helps out the police with sting operations. One day the officer who usually goes in for string operations gets suspended for beating up some teenagers and having it go viral on YouTube, so Gary is drafted at the last minute to go undercover as a “hit man” and get a suspect to contract his services. Gary does so well at it that the police department uses him more and more, and Gary starts disappearing into his roles as the various “hit men” in a sequence which is quite comedic. This works well until Gary meets Madison, a woman who wants him to kill her abusive husband. Gary talks her out of it and starts seeing her, a situation which quickly escalates out of control.

It was interesting that the movie went through a sudden genre shift 1/3 of the way through, from dark comedy to love story. A bit darker than I usually prefer, but enjoyable nonetheless if you don’t mind the language. That said, I watched this right after MADAME WEB, and the contrast between WEB’s clunky and wooden dialogue and the much better-written HIT MAN was night and day.

What was also interesting was that the movie only cost $8.8 million dollars to make. Given the post-COVID economic climate, I expect we will see more of this – movies that have to be disciplined about keeping the costs down, as opposed to the enormous $295 million budgets of something like INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY.

Overall grade: B-

BOSS LEVEL (2021)

This is best described as “GROUNDHOG’S DAY, but as an action movie.”

Former special forces soldier Roy Pulver (played by Frank Grillo) is caught in a time loop that repeats the same day over and over again, which always ends with him getting killed by assassins that have been hired to hunt him down. This happened after he tried to reconnect with his former girlfriend, a scientist working on a secret project overseen by the sinister Colonel Ventor, played by Mel Gibson. (For a variety of reasons, let’s just say at this point in his career Gibson is very believable in a villain role.) At first Roy succumbs to despair in the time loop, but then decides to spend the endless day trying to connect with his estranged son. Eventually this causes him to rally and fight back, and he realizes that his ex-girlfriend deliberately put him into the time loop because he was the only person she knew who could stop Colonel Ventor’s evil plans for his project, which turns out to be a time machine.

I’d say the biggest weakness of the movie is the opening, which is the sort of record-scratch “you’re probably wondering how I got here” opening I complained about in episode 203 of my podcast The Pulp Writer Show. Also, I think it should have been maybe five to ten minutes longer. The ending is sort of implied, but it would have been far more satisfying to have been shown what would happen.

But, overall, I liked this movie. Solid B-level thriller/science fiction stuff.

It’s interesting to compare this to GROUNDHOG’S DAY, because that movie had to spend so much time establishing the premise because the plot idea of a time loop wasn’t as widely known then as it is now. Whereas nowadays you can just say “GROUNDHOG’S DAY loop” and most people will immediately know what you are talking about.

Overall grade: B

GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE (2024)

This wasn’t quite as good as GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE, but I still enjoyed it.

In this one, Egon Spengler’s daughter, her good-natured boyfriend, and her children have returned to New York City to restart the Ghostbusters business. They’re bankrolled by OG Ghostbuster Winston Zeddmore, who is now a wealthy businessman funding a variety of Ghostbusting projects. When one of Zeddmore’s employees stumble across a dangerous artifact holding a powerful ice ghost, both the new and original Ghostbusters must team up to save the day.

I really like how the new GHOSTBUSTERS films handle the original characters – they’re no longer the main focus, but they’re mentoring the new characters and providing advice and support. I like this a lot better than the Disney/Lucasfilm approach of the original characters being Sad Old Losers that the new characters must rebel against and surpass.

It was great that actor William Atherton returned as government apparatchik Walter Peck. Back in the first movie he was an officious EPA inspector who accidentally released a ghost horde upon New York. In the grand American political tradition of failing upward, he’s now the Mayor of New York City, and still hopes to disband the Ghostbusters.

I think the movie’s biggest weakness was that it was too complicated and there were a lot of different characters and moving parts to keep track of.

Overall grade: B

INSIDE OUT 2 (2024)

A terrifying descent into the nightmarish hellscape that is the mind of the average teenage girl! 🙂

I am of course joking (though if you have teenagers, you know I am only mostly joking), but INSIDE OUT 2 is a strong follow-up to the first movie. In the first movie, the anthropomorphized representations of the emotions Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust tried to control themselves inside the mind of young girl Riley. At the start of the second movie, Riley is now thirteen and doing well – but then Puberty kicks in. Suddenly new emotions arrive in her head – Ennui, Envy, Embarrassment, and Anxiety, and Anxiety in particular runs amok and seizes control of Riley’s mind.  As Anxiety starts to send Riley spiraling out of control, the other emotions have to rally and save Riley’s mind and sense of self.

It was both quite funny and poignant.

Given how like every other person I meet nowadays seems to have an anxiety disorder (perhaps thanks to social media), I can see why this movie cleared a billion dollars and as of July 2024 is the biggest box office movie of 2024 so far.

Overall grade: A

FORD V FERRARI (2019)

This is a biopic of the rivalry between Ford Motor Company and Ferrari in the 1960s. It’s an interesting bit of history. In the 60s, Ford Motor Company (FMC), under the leadership of Henry Ford II (founder Henry Ford’s grandson), decided it needed a cooler image, much like how Microsoft bought a bunch of indie gaming studios in the 2010s. So FMC spent years negotiating with Enzo Ferrari to buy Ferrari’s company. At the last minute, negotiations collapsed, and Ferrari went on a rant insulting FMC as an ugly company that made ugly cars, and also called Ford II a lesser man compared to his famous grandfather.

This was a major public failure and humiliation for FMC, and needless to say, Ford II took it very, very personally. So he threw a ton of resources behind Ford’s racing car project with one goal: beat Ferrari at the famous Le Mans 24 hour race.

To pull this off, FMC recruited Carroll Shelby (played by Matt Damon), a former racing driver turned race car designer due to a heart condition. Shelby needed a driver, so he recruited Ken Miles (played by Christian Bale), a talented driver and a mechanic with a combative streak and a knack for making enemies. Shelby, Miles, and their team set out to build the GT40, Ford’s first proper racing car.

Since this is all in the historical record, it’s not a spoiler to say that they succeeded – in the 1966 Le Mans race, Ford cars finished in first, second, and third positions, locking out Ferrari entirely.

This is a very enjoyable biopic. All the actors disappear into their roles and give strong performances, and the racing scenes all look cool. It was also interesting from a historical perspective to see how the Ford executives had a bad habit of acting like feudal lords who would dictate their will to the consumer rather than what they actually were, which is merchants who need to give the customer what they want. This attitude was one of the reasons the US auto industry hit very hard times in the 1970s.

I’d say the only thing wrong with the movie is that it feels too long, though for the life of me I’m not sure what they could cut.

Overall grade: A

THE LAST DANCE (2020)

I originally watched this back during peak COVID, but after watching AIR (see below), I decided to watch this again to refresh my memory.

It’s a documentary about the Chicago Bulls NBA team and their renowned three-peat championship streak in the 1990s. (It’s an amusing feeling to have lived long enough that things I lived through are now considered history and have prestige documentaries made about them.) It mostly revolves around the career of Michael Jordan, though it includes interviews with many other people involved in the experience of the Bulls’ championship run, include brief interviews with two ex-US Presidents for some reason.

The documentary got a lot of criticism for focusing too heavily on Jordan and portraying him in a positive light, especially from the other members of the 1990s Bulls team. Interestingly, I thought Jordan did not really come across all that great on the show – he seemed vindictive, petty, and prone to holding on to grudges for decades, the sort of man with an all-consuming competitive streak who is irresistibly compelled to win at everything he does, even if it’s a casual golf game between friendly acquaintances. For that matter, professional basketball players all tend to be highly competitive type-A personalities who like to win, and getting them all to agree on an account of events beyond the objectively observable facts is probably impossible.

Despite that, I suspect the simple fact is that the Bulls would not have won their championships without Jordan. There’s no denying that he was probably one of the most famous people on Earth during the 90s, and no one can stand up to that kind of scrutiny well, especially after a personal tragedy like when Jordan’s father was murdered in the mid-90s. And when Jordan talks about how winning requires complete focus and absolute dedication, he’s right – winning in a competition at a level like the NBA does require 110% focus, even to the detriment of every other aspect of one’s life. I’ve heard athletes say that “champions have no balance,” and Jordan seems to be a living example of both the benefits and the high personal costs of that.

Amusing anecdote – when I originally watched this in late 2020, I texted my brother that he should check it out because I thought he would enjoy it. His response was something along the lines that he had seen it when it first came out on ESPN and I really ought to engage with the culture more. 🙂

Overall grade: A

AIR (2023)

A movie about Michael Jordan and his family negotiating a deal with Nike about the Air Jordan shoe.

I didn’t expect to like this as much as I did, but it was just excellent.

In full disclosure, I have minimal interest in the NBA, and while I can tell you the NBA team of the US state in which I currently reside, I think, if pressed, I could tell you the name of maybe five other NBA teams off the top of my head. Additionally, I lived through the 1990s and had no money for all of it, and so I really resented the peer pressure around Air Jordan shoes and other sports apparel because that stuff was always so expensive.

All that aside, that shows AIR was a good movie, because it made me care about a story involving a topic in which I have no interest and perhaps mildly dislike.

Anyway, the plot! Set in 1984, Matt Damon (back again!) plays Sonny Vaccaro, who is working with Nike’s struggling basketball shoe division. At the time, Nike was the biggest maker of running shoes in the US, but had only a minimal presence in the basketball shoe market. Vaccaro has the idea of building a shoe brand entirely around an upcoming young NBA rookie named Michael Jordan. At the time this was an enormous gamble and had never been done before, but needless to say, it paid off in a big way.

All the actors gave good performances, and the dialogue was sharply written, simultaneously conveying the character of the speaker and moving the plot forward.

I recommend this movie even if, like me, you have zero interest in sports apparel. But perhaps that is one of the functions of art, to give you glimpses into worlds you would otherwise never visit.

Overall grade: A+

-JM