Winter 2024/2025 Frozen Pizza Roundup

I used to joke that if I lived long enough and could afford to retire, I wanted to start a YouTube channel that consisted entirely of different reviews of frozen pizza. The idea came from the sitcom COMMUNITY. I always enjoyed the show, since it’s about a community college and I used to work in higher ed, so I could relate to most of the jokes. One of the recurring gags is elderly student Leonard (played by the late Richard Erdman) has a YouTube channel where he reviews potato chips, frozen pizza, and other snack foods.

Anyway, one member of my family gets quite ill if any gluten is consumed, so for about the last decade I’ve been buying and eating gluten-free frozen pizzas, which are very nearly almost as good as the real thing these days. However, I eventually realized that I could just buy myself a frozen pizza made with delicious, delicious gluten and get several lunches out of it over the course of the week, so that is what I did!

Since I haven’t had normal frozen pizza on a regular basis for nearly a decade, I decided to try a new brand every week.

So, here then is the Winter 2024/2025 Frozen Pizza Roundup. Unlike my movie reviews, the pizza reviews will be in chronological order based on when I ate them. Grades are totally subjective and based on my own opinions. I will also be rating the pizza by eating it hot and eating it cold, since cold pizza is a different experience than hot pizza. Cold pizza for lunch the next day is something to look forward to, especially during a busy day.

I should mention that I bought each pizza myself – no one sent me any free stuff, so while my opinion is subjective, it is nonetheless unbiased. Additionally, I exactly followed the preparation directions for each pizza, since I wanted to avoid the phenomenon you sometimes see on recipe blogs where a commenter will complain that a recipe didn’t work, and then admit they took out the butter, cut the sugar in half, replaced the flour with corn starch, and substituted canola oil for frosting.

In terms of health, I should point out that I lost five pounds during the course of these reviews. Pizza, like most things, is perfectly fine when consumed in moderation. Eating an entire frozen pizza in one go is bad. I could do that when I was twenty years old and working as a truck unloader. Doing that when I’m a middle-aged man who spends most of his time sitting down and typing is a much worse idea.

Besides, getting three meals out of a pizza is better, and I’m at the age where if I can lose a pound a month and keep it off, I’m doing well.

With that introduction out of the way, to the pizzas!

POTHOLE PIZZA – MEAT SWEATS – 11/15/2024

Kwik Trip is a large brand of gas stations/convenience stores in the upper American Midwest, and they are known for having a wide variety of foods. Pothole Pizza is the store brand of frozen pizza, so for my first week of trying non-GF pizza, I got one of those, specifically the “Meat Sweats” variant with a lot of meat, specifically a bunch of pepperoni and sausage.

It was really quite good. The crust was on the thicker side without being doughy or bready, the sauce had a pleasant garlic flavor to it, the cheese was good, and the pepperoni and sausage were ample. That sausage also had a pleasant spiciness to it as well. The abundance of cheese means it is a little greasy, but not unduly so.

When cold, it is also good. You can’t really taste the sauce, but the cheese sets well, and the sausage tastes just as good cold as it does hot.

Overall grade: A+

CHEESE MOUNTAIN – FOUR MEAT – 11/22/2024

Cheese Mountain is Kwik Trip’s take-and-bake pizza. The advantage of take-and-bake is that it is easier to cook since it hasn’t been frozen, though you really should cook it the same day that you buy it.

Overall, I liked this about the same as the Pothole Pizza. The sauce on Pothole Pizza is better, while the crust on Cheese Mountain is superior. I do think the cheese on Pothole is slightly better as well, which is ironic given that this pizza is named Cheese Mountain, but the cheese is still good.

When cold, I don’t think it’s quite as good as the Pothole pizza. Both the sausage and the pepperoni aren’t quite as spicy as the toppings on the Pothole version. This was still good, but I still preferred the Pothole

Overall grade: A-

HEGGIE’S PEPPERONI PIZZA – 12/6/2024

Heggie’s is a pizza company based out of Minnesota that distributes to the upper Midwest and the Dakotas. I admit I don’t go to bars all that often, but I’ve been told that Heggie’s is the official “bar pizza” of much of that region, so I decided to try that next.

Having never tried it before, I came in with no expectations, and was therefore quite pleasantly surprised by how good it was. It’s a thin crust pizza, though a bit on the thicker side, which gives the crust some satisfying heft. The sauce had an excellent tang, the pepperoni was good, and the cheese flavorful.

When cold, it is likewise excellent. The spiciness of the pepperoni overcomes the more subdued taste a pizza often has while cold.

Honestly, this is a superb example of a pepperoni pizza.

Overall grade: A

LOTZZA MOTZZA FOUR MEAT PIZZA – 12/13/2024

This is made by Brew Pub Pizza, which itself is owned by Bernatello’s, a Wisconsin-based frozen pizza manufacturer and distributor.

I quite like this one as well. The crust is thin and just a bit flaky, which is nice. The cheese was excellent, and as the name indicates, it was indeed a lot of mozzarella cheese.

When eaten cold, it is also a good meal. The large quantity of cheese helps, the crust remains flaky, and the spiciness of the sausage is highlighted when it is cold.

Overall grade: A

LEGIT THREE MEAT PIZZA – 12/20/2024

Legit Three Meat Pizza is made by Pep’s Pizza Company, which is based out of Green Bay in Wisconsin.

I admit I didn’t like it quite as much as the other ones on this list. The meat was good, but the cheese and sausage weren’t quite as strong as the other examples on the list so far. I don’t think it had quite enough sauce, which is amusing because I accidentally dripped a bunch of sauce on my shirt while I was eating it.

Eaten cold, I think it tastes better. However, this is one of the few pizzas where I would recommend you would add some oregano, frozen pizza spice, or garlic salt, depending on your preferences, because it’s not quite as flavorful as the others on this list.

Overall grade: B

SCREAMIN’ SICILIAN PEPPERONI PIZZA – 1/3/2025

Screamin’ Sicilian is produced by the Palermo’s Pizza company, which is based in Wisconsin. I realized when I was writing this that a lot of pizza companies are based in Wisconsin, so I did some research. The reason is quite logical – Wisconsin is one of the leading producers of cheese in the United States, and so the pizza companies want to be closer to the supply, so to speak. Wisconsin is also generally considered to be more business-friendly than its neighboring states of Minnesota and Illinois, and having visited both Minneapolis and Chicago, I can say that the only thing harder than running a small business in Minneapolis would be running one in Chicago.

Anyway! Back to the pizza. I quite liked this one. It has abundant cheese, and a very generous layer of pepperoni. There’s enough pepperoni that the top layer of it becomes quite crispy, and crispy pepperoni is delicious. Additionally, the cheese is very good. I’d say the biggest weakness is the crust, which is somewhat bland and bready.

Eaten cold, it is likewise a good experience. The cheese sets well, and the pepperoni retains its taste. The crust remains the only weakness.

Overall grade: A-

POTHOLE PIZZA PEP RALLY – 1/10/2025

This is another pizza from Kwik Trip’s Pothole brand, specifically an all-pepperoni pizza.

It was just superb. It has the same high-quality crust, tasty sauce, and excellent cheese as the Meat Sweats version above. The pizza also has a generous layer of pepperoni, enough that it crisps a bit in the oven. The combined flavor is excellent.

Eaten cold, it tastes just as good. The cheese, the pepperoni, and the sauce (especially the sauce) retain their flavor. I think a strong sauce is key to having pizza taste good while cold.

Overall grade: A

PEP’S DRAFTHOUSE DOUBLE PEPPERONI DOPPELBOCH PIZZA – 1/17/2025

This another pizza from Pep’s Pizza Company, which also did the Legit Three Meat Pizza from several weeks ago.

I like this one quite a lot better than the Legit Three Meat Pizza. The crust was a bit thicker, but much more flavorful. The pepperoni and the sauce both tasted good. The pizza had a mixture of mozzarella and provolone cheese, which was I wasn’t sure would work, but it really did. Gave the cheese a somewhat sharper flavor than straight mozzarella that combined well with the pepperoni.

Eaten cold, it isn’t quite as good as hot. The sauce is definitely better hot, though the cheese and the pepperoni still carry the day.

Overall grade: A-

7TH AVENUE PEPPERONI AND MEATBALL PIZZA – 1/24/2025

7th Avenue is a regional frozen pizza in the upper Midwest, based out of Minneapolis. I have to admit that makes me root for them a bit, since as I mentioned above running a small business in Minneapolis is a bit like playing the Small Business Game on hard mode.

Anyway, the pizza is quite good hot. The cheese is on the higher end, and the sausage is excellent. The crust isn’t quite as good as the other ones on the list, but overall the pizza is quite tasty.

Eaten cold, I actually liked it a bit better. The sauce sets well, and the cheese and the toppings have a strong flavor. I can tell the cheese was very high quality because I needed like three lactaid pills before I ate it. 🙂

Overall grade: A-

TOMBSTONE PEPPERONI AND SAUSAGE – 1/31/2025

I wanted to close out this review tour by trying some of the larger corporate pizzas, since all the pizzas above came from relatively smaller US-based companies. Tombstone was originally one of the oldest frozen pizza companies in the US, founded by Pep and Ron Simek in the 60s. (Pep’s Pizza Company, mentioned above, is an effort to carry out that legacy.) Tombstone is now owned by a large multinational corporation that has something of a questionable reputation in certain circles (they’re litigious, you can Google them if you’re curious). Like, they’re the kind of company whose “Controversies” Wikipedia article is as long as the actual article on the company itself. So I wasn’t sure what to expect. The multinational in question bought Tombstone way back in 2010, and I haven’t had a Tombstone pizza since a couple of years before that.

It wasn’t bad. Eaten hot, the crust is crisp and a little bit on the thicker side, and the sausage is good. I liked the sauce as well. The cheese isn’t as good as some of the others on this list, but it’s not bad.

Eaten cold, it’s adequate, but not as good as most of the others on this list.

I think the biggest advantage of Tombstone is price – if I remember right it’s at least $2 USD cheaper than the next cheapest pizza I tried. Given how bad the economy remains, that is an important fact. Which is one of the advantages of a larger company like the multinational food company we’ve been talking about – it is possible to drive down the cost and deliver a product that might not be as good as some of the others on this list, but is still good enough at a lower price.

Overall grade: B+

DIGIORNO’S CLASSIC CRUST PEPPERONI PIZZA – 2/10/2025

DiGiorno’s, like Tombstone, is part of the same food conglomerate I mentioned for the Tombstone Pepperoni and Sausage pizza.

Which makes sense, because honestly, this tasted almost exactly the same as the Tombstone pizza. I thought the pepperoni was slightly better, but overall it tasted very nearly the same.

Eaten cold, I don’t think it was quite as good. The crust definitely got a bit soggier than the others on the list. I think DiGiorno’s is mostly known for their thick-crust pizzas, so I might try that instead.

But again, this had the significant advantage of being cheaper than many of the other options I tried. Granted, I still liked the Tombstone pizza better.

Overall grade: B

CONCLUSION

Overall, the Pothole Pizza Meat Sweats, Heggie’s Pepperoni Pizza, and the Lotzza Motzza Four Meat Pizza were my favorite. For the budget-conscious diner, I think the Tombstone pizza offers the best value for price.

Given that I didn’t give anything lower than a B, you might conclude I like frozen pizza, and you would be right!

Still, it’s really a miracle of technological achievement, isn’t it? Making pizza from scratch is a lot of work. But you can go to the store, buy an entire pizza for under $10 USD, and cook and eat it with minimal prep time. That would have been an unfathomable wonder for the vast majority of human history.

To celebrate this achievement, I think I’m going to eat some cold pizza now. 🙂

-JM