Jonathan Moeller, Pulp Writer

The books of Jonathan Moeller

satireUncategorized

The Five Stages Of New Gadget Lust

Now that Amazon has announced new Kindle HD tablets and the Kindle Paperwhite ereader, I think it’s safe to say that many, many people are experiencing a sudden uncontrollable case of gadget lust. And, in fact, gadget lust corresponds quite neatly to Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages Of Grief:

DENIAL

Amazon has come out with a new Kindle HD? I don’t need that. I just finished reading a book on my Kindle Touch, and my Kindle Fire is running just fine. A bigger screen would be a waste of money. And who uses Bluetooth anyway? 

ANGER

Argh! I don’t need a new Kindle! Why do I WANT it so much? This all just MANUFACTURED HYPE! I don’t want a new Kindle! I don’t want a new Kindle! I don’t! I don’t I don’t I dontIdontIdont!

WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME AMAZON!?!?

BARGAINING

OK. I still have $23.98 left on that one gift card. And if I have Ramen for dinner every night for 37 days, that might swing it. And I can give my old Kindle to Suzie for a present! So if I buy myself a new Kindle, that means I’m really getting Suzie a present! So really I should be doing this for Suzie, not for me.

DEPRESSION

I am going to put myself in the poorhouse because I CAN’T STOP BUYING SHINY TOYS!

(drinks heavily)

ACCEPTANCE

Hey everyone! Check out my new Kindle Fire HD unboxing pics on my Facebook page…

-JM

2 thoughts on “The Five Stages Of New Gadget Lust

  • Manwe

    lol!
    Been there, done that! 😀
    The new Kindles really do look nice, the HD waaay too overpriced (like the ipad), and the paperwhite looks just about right! Though I wonder if increasing the contrast will take away kindle’s claim that it does not cause eye strain?

    Reply
    • jmoellerwriter

      From what I understand, when the Paperwhite’s light is off it looks like a slightly sharper version of the current Kindle Touch. That said, I always recommend that people physically look and play with an ereader, a tablet, or a laptop keyboard before committing to a purchase, since everyone’s hands and eyes are different.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *