university driving rules

Recently I had to visit the campus of a major American state university, the kind of place that has over 40,000 students.

Naturally, the traffic and parking situation was sheer chaos. At least, it appeared to be sheer chaos on the surface. I soon realized that unspoken rules governed the traffic flow:

-Pedestrians always have right of way under all circumstances, even if while texting they wander off the curb and into six lanes of high-speed traffic.

-Bicyclists always have right of way under all circumstances, especially since someone wearing a bicycle helmet apparently cannot see a red light.

-Cars and other motor vehicles never have the right of way, ever, with two exceptions, namely:

-Buses can and do whatever they want.

-Scooters/mopeds do whatever they want so long as the operator ignores the laws of man, God, and occasionally physics.

Above all, do not fall into the clutches of Parking Enforcement, because neither you nor your vehicle will ever be seen again.

-JM