Jonathan Moeller, Pulp Writer

The books of Jonathan Moeller

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Beer…

…is the most disgusting swill ever to befoul the earth. People enjoy this stuff? It tastes like Satan’s fermented armpit sweat. And it’s not even a particularly efficient drink for getting pleasantly buzzed or even drunk, considering the amount of beer you have to drink to arrive at either state.

Ben Franklin was wrong, wrong, wrong. Beer is not proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Bacon is proof that God loves us and wants to be happy.

Beer, on the other hand, is proof that Satan hates us and wants us to die, preferably with the foul taste of Miller Lite coating our throats.

-JM

One thought on “Beer…

  • No, Miller Lite is proof that Satan hates us.

    Non-fizzy-yellow beer is proof that God loves us:

    http://beeradvocate.com/top_beers

    Try some good beer – IPA, hefeweizen, trippel, porter, stout. (Plus, if you want to get drunk, better beer tends to have a higher alcohol content!)

    Reply

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